A 15 year old boy today won the state's and probably the nation's first ever educational appeal to be allowed to return to Primary 6. At first, staff members, and commentators alike had pretty much collectively thought that Jerome Gan's decision was one that had an actual scholastic merit because they've considered that since he barely passed his rudimentary motor skills tests, he should be readily pigeonholed and accommodated for in the special needs class.
Initial findings proved this to be a suspect and rather dangerous assumption as the student's records were mistakenly mixed up with a mentally impaired child's. Moreover, what proved challenging was that Jerome was already nearing his state PMR examinations as well and withdrawals in these sort of cases are about as common as a male dog pulling out mid-hustle. Yet for the most part, Jerome is an intelligent if somewhat overly dull and boorish person. Faculty members, students and even the janitors have increasingly singled him out to be on the receiving end of viciously timed jeers and even called him names during his almost 3 year ordeal in the unnamed secondary school.
While most of the alleged perpetrators have remained mum in light of these allegations, further probes have revealed that upper management have in fact, repeatedly ignored impassioned pleas from the perpetually sweaty and bescpectacled Jerome. "We don't entertain it" says Jahan Adri Eusoff, discipline teacher and former prison warden, "his allegations are preposterous and disgusting. We need them to know that while we are here as the communal Big Brother, they too must understand that we are not their emotional wheelchairs."
However, the awkward, pimply and pockmarked teenager stated that his decision to demote himself 3 years back was because he missed being the "head honcho and Big Kahuna 'round these here parts" gesturing his hands with an almost religious reverence towards the sacred grounds of the primary side courtyard. He remembers "Oh three years ago was probably the best time of my life, I was the biggest kid in class, no questioning that and sure I was somewhat big boned and my zipper would always snap when I laughed, but I was way too large for any of the puny little shits to call out on me."
Secondary school hasn't exactly been a dream ride for Jerome, when he entered as a freshman, he found that his hitherto unchallenged authority had waned and gone soft, as he puts it "bent like the crooked back of a politician, or Hugh Hefner's cock" His first few months consisted of daily beatings from the smaller students who had experienced extreme growth spurts over the holidays. "It was horrific," exclaimed a bemused Jerome, "It was almost as if Satan squatted over me and let the excess recesses of his rectum fly free right in my general direction, and some of that entered my mouth". To date he has been tormented and bulled on an almost daily basis and even the usual suspects have turned to the aggravation. It's a simple case of the hunted turning into the hunters.
The appeal process was further compounded by the fact that the child's parents are absentee authority figures in his life who would occasionally tag team as "Thunder & Lightning" and beat the child senseless in Morse code, as they put it, "for the sake of discipline and you know, just in case." However, when Jerome related to us the sequence of his parent's methodical beatdown, it spelt "We love you very much" and that immediately put them in good stead with welfare child services who considered their conduct to be fit, appropriate and becoming of concerned parents.
On his first day as a Primary 6 pupil after a 3 year absence, the student appeared calm if somewhat uncomfortable as he managed to squeeze himself back into his primary school uniform. By the time he ascended the staircase, his shirt was already saturated with the stink of a child unused to menial labour. As lunch time came about, Jerome was causing a fair bit of disturbance at the canteen by flipping an entire tray of lunchables at some year 4 pupils who failed to bow at him. Prefects and teachers alike are very worried as Jerome has already worked up an impressive list of 14 distinct breaches and infractions of the school's rules. When questioned about this the smug, mouthy teenager said "This is my homecoming, and these crop of new students aren't unlike adoring subjects to me, I shall stamp out dissent and lord over them, for I care about their situation. They can think of me as an unofficial big brother and that all this is merely a mentor system. What's that? Breach of school rules? Well, I don't know about a breach but school, for the first time in 3 years, thus indeed rule."
Complaints have gone unnoticed as the state's education authorities have deemed that it's only a manner of time that Jerome finishes primary 6 so until then, their hands are tied. But they have conceded that if the student fails to pass his year end examinations, he can stay. At the interim meeting, Asokamaniam Punamoorthy of the education board was seen burying his head in his hands and muttering "Dear God...we've created a monster, Malaysia's very own Billy Madison".
Initial findings proved this to be a suspect and rather dangerous assumption as the student's records were mistakenly mixed up with a mentally impaired child's. Moreover, what proved challenging was that Jerome was already nearing his state PMR examinations as well and withdrawals in these sort of cases are about as common as a male dog pulling out mid-hustle. Yet for the most part, Jerome is an intelligent if somewhat overly dull and boorish person. Faculty members, students and even the janitors have increasingly singled him out to be on the receiving end of viciously timed jeers and even called him names during his almost 3 year ordeal in the unnamed secondary school.
While most of the alleged perpetrators have remained mum in light of these allegations, further probes have revealed that upper management have in fact, repeatedly ignored impassioned pleas from the perpetually sweaty and bescpectacled Jerome. "We don't entertain it" says Jahan Adri Eusoff, discipline teacher and former prison warden, "his allegations are preposterous and disgusting. We need them to know that while we are here as the communal Big Brother, they too must understand that we are not their emotional wheelchairs."
However, the awkward, pimply and pockmarked teenager stated that his decision to demote himself 3 years back was because he missed being the "head honcho and Big Kahuna 'round these here parts" gesturing his hands with an almost religious reverence towards the sacred grounds of the primary side courtyard. He remembers "Oh three years ago was probably the best time of my life, I was the biggest kid in class, no questioning that and sure I was somewhat big boned and my zipper would always snap when I laughed, but I was way too large for any of the puny little shits to call out on me."
Secondary school hasn't exactly been a dream ride for Jerome, when he entered as a freshman, he found that his hitherto unchallenged authority had waned and gone soft, as he puts it "bent like the crooked back of a politician, or Hugh Hefner's cock" His first few months consisted of daily beatings from the smaller students who had experienced extreme growth spurts over the holidays. "It was horrific," exclaimed a bemused Jerome, "It was almost as if Satan squatted over me and let the excess recesses of his rectum fly free right in my general direction, and some of that entered my mouth". To date he has been tormented and bulled on an almost daily basis and even the usual suspects have turned to the aggravation. It's a simple case of the hunted turning into the hunters.
The appeal process was further compounded by the fact that the child's parents are absentee authority figures in his life who would occasionally tag team as "Thunder & Lightning" and beat the child senseless in Morse code, as they put it, "for the sake of discipline and you know, just in case." However, when Jerome related to us the sequence of his parent's methodical beatdown, it spelt "We love you very much" and that immediately put them in good stead with welfare child services who considered their conduct to be fit, appropriate and becoming of concerned parents.
On his first day as a Primary 6 pupil after a 3 year absence, the student appeared calm if somewhat uncomfortable as he managed to squeeze himself back into his primary school uniform. By the time he ascended the staircase, his shirt was already saturated with the stink of a child unused to menial labour. As lunch time came about, Jerome was causing a fair bit of disturbance at the canteen by flipping an entire tray of lunchables at some year 4 pupils who failed to bow at him. Prefects and teachers alike are very worried as Jerome has already worked up an impressive list of 14 distinct breaches and infractions of the school's rules. When questioned about this the smug, mouthy teenager said "This is my homecoming, and these crop of new students aren't unlike adoring subjects to me, I shall stamp out dissent and lord over them, for I care about their situation. They can think of me as an unofficial big brother and that all this is merely a mentor system. What's that? Breach of school rules? Well, I don't know about a breach but school, for the first time in 3 years, thus indeed rule."
Complaints have gone unnoticed as the state's education authorities have deemed that it's only a manner of time that Jerome finishes primary 6 so until then, their hands are tied. But they have conceded that if the student fails to pass his year end examinations, he can stay. At the interim meeting, Asokamaniam Punamoorthy of the education board was seen burying his head in his hands and muttering "Dear God...we've created a monster, Malaysia's very own Billy Madison".
